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Fast Facts: Economic Security for South Carolina Families
The right policies can go a long way toward helping all South Carolina women gain economic security.


Universe Feels Zero Connection To Guy Tripping On Mushrooms
EUGENE, OR—Noting that it had yet to experience any sort of oneness with the 22-year-old, the universe confirmed Friday that it felt absolutely zero connection to a local man currently tripping on hallucinogenic mushrooms. “As far as I can tell, all the boundaries between myself and this guy remain completely intact, so I certainly wouldn’t say that he and I have become one with each other at all,” said the collection of all space and matter, which added that, if anything, it was feeling further removed from the man after he ate two grams of psilocybin mushrooms and spent the ensuing three hours just sitting on his basement couch, during which time he effectively did nothing to interact with the world or universe more broadly. “Frankly, I feel like he and I are as separate and unconnected as we’ve always been. Sure, he seems like a decent ...


Bernie Sanders Asks Anyone Who’s Serious About Breaking Up Big Banks To Meet Him On Corner Of Canal And Bowery At Midnight
NEW YORK—Inviting all those truly committed to economic equality, presidential candidate Bernie Sanders announced during Thursday night’s Democratic debate that anyone who’s serious about breaking up big banks should meet him on the corner of Canal and Bowery at midnight. “Show up at the base of the Manhattan Bridge at exactly midnight tonight if you really want to break apart the financial institutions and hold Wall Street banks accountable,” said the Vermont senator, adding that everyday Americans can help prevent financial firms from endangering the economic and political process in the U.S. by arriving dressed in dark clothing and taking every precaution to ensure they are not being followed. “Bring a flashlight and come alone. When the clock strikes 12, we bring economic justice to the American people.” At press time, Hillary Clinton had interrupted Sanders to announce that she would be there.



How Congress Should Respond to the Flint Water Crisis
The water crisis in Flint was both foreseeable and preventable; Congress must ensure this never happens again by increasing infrastructure funding and strengthening oversight.


Fast Facts: Economic Security for Nevada Families
The right policies can go a long way toward helping Nevada women gain economic security.


Why you should boycott Target: Opposing view
But there is a larger issue at stake here.         



CEO pay should be tied to performance: #tellusatoday
Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer could leave the struggling company with severance benefits valued at $54.9 million.         


Tiger Population Increases For First Time In 100 Years
The global wild tiger census has reached 3,890, the first increase in population in over 100 years and significantly higher than the last survey’s all-time low in 2010. What do you think?


King Belshazzar would have loved D.C.'s 'Nerd Prom': Column
Journalists schmoozing with celebrities and pols shows press at its most disconnected.         



Bathroom bills target a non-issue: Our view
Boycott, laws perpetuate the myth that transgender people are predators.         


Mom Has Stacked Dinner Party Roster
GOLDEN, CO—Their eyes widening in amazement as the 43-year-old rattled off the names of heavy hitter after heavy hitter, impressed members of the Dreeshen household confirmed Friday that the roster for their mom’s upcoming dinner party was absolutely stacked. “Wow, she’s got Joyce from work, Cheri, Dana from yoga, Carol, Carol’s new husband—that’s all of the A-listers, together under one roof,” said Dreeshen’s daughter Michelle, wondering aloud how her mother managed to nail down such a jam-packed murderers’ row of neighborhood all-stars. “Jesus, she even managed to pull Dr. Fuller and the Jacobsons. Top to bottom, it’s just loaded. There’s not a single weak spot in the entire guest list.” Sources reported that such an imposing, big-name lineup would “absolutely crush” the likely dinner party topics of the Wannemakers’ new deck and Carol’s upcoming trip to Italy with her son ...


Streets for All
States and the federal government should support promising local initiatives to build streets that serve all users, not just vehicles.






 
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